Vaccines and boosters

So today was yet another day that was basically a carbon copy of the previous. The only thing that happened out of the usual (as in it happens, but not every week) is that I made yet another trip over to Kaiser to see my counselor and get a booster on a vaccine I began in late May. So my arm hurts and I have a nice bump but I'll get over it-until the next one anyway! But the more important part of the trip with the counselor. I talked to her for quite a while about many things but the one thing that stayed with me was telling her how I feel "stuck." "Stuck" as in not knowing what I want and not knowing my next goal in life. I feel as I live the same day over and over again, and at the moment don't have the opportunity to change things much... We jointly decided that I had "Groundhog Day" syndrome (the movie, not the holiday! If you haven't seen it, I urge you to); I keep reliving things until I "get it right." Although we agreed that my "reliving" was for very different reasons than Bill Murray, there was something to "getting things right." Which in this case means I need to start learning how to make decisions again (I lost that ability with my near-constant state of anxiety for a few weeks this spring, anxiety is gone but I have not regained my decision-making skills) and set goals, even tiny ones. But of course, me being me, I pointed out that sometimes things don't work out the way you want or intend them to, as you can not control anything other than yourself (something we learned to accept in anxiety management class) and there was a very real risk that I would have to reset my goals once again... But as she said "So what?" Really.. "so what?" I don't know actually, I don't have a good answer for that. So basically, I got two "boosters" today. One for the legitimate vaccine, and the other being much more abstract... A booster on anxiety, stress management, and self motivation. One was stuck in my arm by a injection technician, the other was stuck in my head by another a mental health technician ( a new pc word for counselor, I think... :-P )

So, I leave you with this thought--of what else do we periodically need a "booster"? I have a suspicion there are probably many more things that have not yet crossed my mind.

~Wildflower